watching the bbc series "walking w/ dinosaurs" recently reminded me how relative the idea of evolutionary progress really is. the cryptoclidus is generally considered a relic of earth's rocky evolutionary past, but i have to admit, i'm really a little jealous.

a sort of 'tweener within the animal kingdom, this massive aquatic reptile was probably walking around on land for a few million years before he decided to get back to his roots; so he shaved his limbs back down to flippers and hit the beach. the thing is, food was so much more plentiful poolside. and we're talking about an animal that was so massive that he could just hang out on the shore like a beached whale and then, when necessary, plop into the sea for .5 seconds and swim through a school of fish w/ his mouth open. that's it. that's dinner.

i'm failing to see where humans got the better deal really. can you imagine such perfect symbiosis w/ your environment that all you have to do is poke your head outside and cruise around w/ your piehole open for sustenance? duck outside and swoop thru a fleet of ho ho's vs. hunting and gathering?

dude, we eat the evolutionary dick.