Hollywood

an email I sent yesterday to a dude I know:


Hi John,

This is a totally not-work related email that I thought you and/or Kara might be interested in. I just got a call from some guy at Paramount who is doing research for a pilot episode of a show called “Them” for Fox. The show is about aliens who take the form of humans and come to earth. In order to infiltrate some kind of space weapons program at JPL (Jet Propulsion Laboratory), one of the aliens starts a romantic relationship with a 20-something beautiful woman who works in the space weapons program at JPL.

Paramount is looking for someone who is familiar with JPL who could provide input on the script so that it is as accurate as possible. They are willing to pay $150/hour and they say they wouldn’t share the name of the person providing the JPL info.

When I heard $150 bucks/hour, I wondered if Kara might want to do it, or if you guys have friends who know JPL and might want to make some money. I just called CBS studios and eventually got back to the guy who called me, so it sounds legit.

Feel free to forward this email to anyone, and/or contact him directly. I have no stake in this whatsoever and won’t be contacting him again. If you are interested, I would get in touch asap, these things move fast.

His contact info:
xxxxx

FYI, the folks in JPL media relations simply directed him to their website, which is why he is looking for other sources.

Cheers,
Daniel

Mistakenly overheard grammy introduction:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, John Legend and John Nash!" My brain struggled to make sense of it for a moment, but then I realized the logic behind it -- Legend sings while Nash presents his groundbreaking mathematical theorem that quantifies the rate at which your girl will ditch you and get with John Legend.

ferrets, estrogen and lunch

the conversation at the table next to me today at lunch at the depressing food court on the UCSD campus. I was eating a grapefruit.

"Do you know anything about puppy breeding?"

"You mean, like, 'you need to put two dogs together when the bitch is in heat?'"

"no. like for cats. I know cats shouldn't have kittens the first time they go into heat. They CAN have kittens, but that doesn't mean they should."

"I know about ferrets. What's interesting in the ferret literature is how different they are from other domestic animals. Ferret estrogen levels increase by 300% when they go into heat. If they don't breed in a few seasons they die."

Dialogue v.1

Actual conversation witn a co-worker, which took place during another co-worker's attempts at signing up for Netflix online:

CO-WORKER: So, what's the difference between Blockbuster and Netflix?

ME: Not that much. Just depends on which political party you want to give money to.

CO-WORKER: (laughs as if I'm some conspiratorial jackass) What?

ME: Blockbuster is a right wing organization.

CO-WORKER: What? How do you know that? Blockbuster doesn't vote!

ME: Yes they do, with their money. All you have to do is look at which party they give the most political contributions to. Blockbuster gives way more money to the Republicans.

CO-WORKER: Okay, so what do Republicans vote on? Is George Bush a Republican?

ME: (pause) You're not fucking serious, are you?


For the curious: Yes, she WAS serious.

love for sale 11.98

[image] line graph of profits for r&b act, The Emotions, showing a
steady decline since 1996, juxtaposed against the rise of emo kids.

"It's like this," says the VP of Marketineering for The Emotions's
parent company, Emotio-corp., "when the target consumer gets to the
sales clerk at the megastore, and he asks for 'Emotions,' he's
immediately taken to the latest Fallout Boy release. The Emotions are
literally losing millions of dollars a year to the Kinsella brothers
alone! It's just like Led Zeppelin and the blues except it's a
complete accident and the resulting hard rock is just terrible."